Positively Un-broken

Over the weekend, I read this statement, “You always have a choice.” This statement resonated with me, perhaps because of where I am in my life, but also because of what I want my children to know as they navigate their young adult lives. “You always have a choice.” Remember that; it’s important. Write about a choice you made… or one you didn’t.As always, if you choose to take up the challenge, please add a pingback to this prompt.

Sometimes, I think about advice I would give my younger self. Advice to my younger self might not help me much now, but as a parent of young adults and someone who works with young people, I have ample opportunity to influence the lives of others. So if you are navigating the early years of your adulthood—or even the later years—it’s important to remember, “You always have a choice.”

When I was very young, it was not uncommon for people to choose a career path and stick with it throughout their lives. People would work in the same job, even at the same company and with the same co-workers, for thirty or forty or more years. I don’t know that there were fewer career options at the time, but there were different expectations.

You don’t need to stay in one place. There is much greater movement than ever before, within career fields, within companies, and within ourselves about what we want to do, where we need to be, and what we’re willing to put up with. Our lives change and evolve as the world changes and evolves. Our ideas and our identities are constantly in flux. But we often fail to remember that our choices might also change and evolve over time.

My advice to my younger self—and to my current self, if I’m being honest—is to always know what your choices are. Evaluate and re-evaluate so you can always consider what you might be doing if you were doing something different. We don’t spend enough time examining our options, taking advantage of our choices. Instead, we tend to settle for something that is comfortable, often sacrificing what we really want or who we are for the “good enough.” Then we grow comfortable, and we forget to ask ourselves, “Is this really what I want?”

Pay attention! What are your emotions trying to tell you? What is that thing that is not sitting right in your brain? Why are you feeling unmotivated? Unfulfilled? Sad? Lonely? If you want to know what these feelings are trying to tell you, pay attention! You might just realize that you’ve squelched a dream because you were afraid to take a risk. It’s okay to move on and take risks. It’s okay to change things up. It’s okay to make choices that are best for you and will allow you to be your best.

You always have a choice. Don’t be afraid to change things up.

Today, I’m working with the word moody sparked by my winter walk. Moody has definitely been the look of the landscape around here. What is moody in your life? As always, if you choose to take up the challenge, please add a pingback to this prompt.

I went out for a walk this evening and the sky was mottled with thick winter clouds. Combined with the trees, still laden with yesterday’s heavy snow, the effect could best be described as moody. It’s as if the sky can’t quite decide whether yesterday’s storm is over and it should be clear, maybe even sunny again. So it’s keeping the shroud of clouds until it decides.

Moody. It’s the way I tend to feel at this time of year, as well. It’s cold and dark, and the storms are an excuse to stay in, focus on crafts or cleaning, writing or inside projects. Read a book. Snuggle with the cats. Sit by the fire. But being outside in the winter, experiencing the snow, breathing in the cold, feeling the crunch of frozen with each footstep—it’s exhilarating. So I’m torn. And sometimes moody because I have to make a choice. Do I go out or stay in?

So the heavy, thick clouds the sky is wearing today… I get it. I am right there feeling this crazy moody sky.

So often, people do what they think they’re supposed to in life. Or they complain about the fact that life is not going as it’s supposed to. I’m wondering if things are going as they are supposed to in your life, and if not, how are you reacting to that? As always, if you choose to take up the challenge, please add a pingback to this prompt.

If you spend any time listening to what other people say, you will often hear, “This is not the way things are supposed to be.” Or you might hear, “This didn’t turn out the way it was supposed to.”

Supposed to…. These are loaded words. They are loaded with the expectations of others, of society, and of ourselves. “This is not the way it’s supposed to be” implies some more desirable outcome that is not attached to the reality of the situation. Because what is, regardless of what’s supposed to be, is reality. And we need to focus on what is, work on accepting this unexpected or maybe just undesirable outcome, and work on building and improving from there.

If we are constantly focused on what we meant to happen or what we thought would come to pass (but didn’t), we are one step detached from reality. And we miss the good in what did happen.

Then again…

Sometimes the statement, “This didn’t turn out like it was supposed to,” can be a fantastic lesson and learning experience. For example, if you set out on a baking adventure to create something you have never attempted but saw in a magazine or on tv or on Pinterest, your first attempt may come out wildly different than you are expecting—maybe or maybe not in a positive way. You have the opportunity to learn from your “supposed to.” What went wrong? Did you miss by an inch or by a mile? What changes do you need to make next time (if there is a next time)? These are all important questions to ask if you want to get closer to the mark of supposed to on your next try.

[Meanwhile, keep in mind that baking disasters often taste just fine.]

But seriously, we need to stop focusing on the expectations for everything we do because expectations often lead to disappointments. And disappointment leads us away from the good in what we’ve done. And the lessons are harder to recognize.

Truly, life—and I mean all of life—is a learning experience. Make the most of it and focus on the positive. Maybe something didn’t turn out the way it was supposed to, but there may be aspects that are at least redeemable.

Because when all is said and done, you’ve made a memory. Years from now, you will laugh about this. You and your friends/family will think back fondly on the day your experiment didn’t come out the way it was supposed to, but you ate it anyway. Or you ended up throwing it out and ordering take out.

So maybe, if you really think about it, the version you created might actually be better (in some weird way) than what it was supposed to be.

I am working on the puzzle that is life. Somedays, it’s smooth sailing but other days, it’s a struggle. What puzzles are you working on? Perhaps you have a story about a puzzle. If you choose to take up the challenge, please add a pingback to this prompt.

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle. Each piece fits together to create a perfect whole. But the pieces of life don’t always fit together the way we expect them to. Or want them to. And one subtle change can launch the whole puzzle into disarray, ensuring the pieces will never quite fit the way we want them to. Because there is no perfect whole where life is concerned.

The process of life… it is a living, breathing puzzle, very different from the cardboard pieces we fit together to create a two-dimensional image. Life, and its piece, are constantly changing, evolving, and growing. People come into your life, and you fit them in with the overall picture. People leave—for whatever reason—and you readjust the life you are creating. Some people leave a hole that can never be filled, and because of that hole, your puzzle has to take on a new shape.

Jobs change, locations change, hobbies come and go, and you are left to make sense of it all. As a human involved in the game of life, you are expected to continue your work on the puzzle, creating beauty not in spite of the constant movement and change, but because of it.

It is the changes that bring us to life. Our reactions and the way we handle the situations we are given, these contribute to the beauty in the overall image we create. Our reactions bring color and vibrance to our life picture. They demonstrate our growth over time.

And so… as you continue to work on your own life puzzle—to determine how to fit the pieces together—know that the puzzle will continue to change, to shift, and to challenge at every turn. But it will also bring love and peace and joy, both in the present and in your reflection on the past, on the things you have done, on the people you have met.

Choose your pieces wisely. Those thoughtfully chosen will add the most beauty to—and be a better fit with—the many pieces you cannot choose.

I am redefining various aspects of my life. I don’t really know what the end product will look like, but I know it’s a necessary process to undertake right now. Are there aspects of your life that need to be redefined? Are there other things you might redefine? If you choose to take up the challenge, please add a pingback to this prompt.

It’s foggy today. The unseasonably warm weather doesn’t play well with the snow and ice that fell throughout the day yesterday. The fog hangs over the world, muting January into mist. This, I realize, is a metaphor for what is.

There are points in life when a re-evaluation is appropriate. Even necessary. Sometimes, several changes occur at once, and we are left to redefine where we are and what we want. I have been taking a critical look at the pieces of my life that don’t quite fit the way they once did. And as I work to redefine these pieces, alter them, and fit them back into my life, a fog has settled over what is and what has been. I have thrown out two or three—maybe more—pieces, and I’m reconsidering others. I am rebuilding—in some cases, from the ground up. And I’m not quite sure what will emerge.

The fog is obscuring the work that I am doing as I move toward what will be and wait for it to emerge. One day, the fog will begin to dissipate and the new will be revealed.  It’s always that way—that the work of the process is actually invisible to onlookers. When the work is completed and the newness emerges, people will look at me, and they will say, “Hey friend, you look good! Did you get your hair cut?” or “Have you been working out?”

If I look different, that’s just a bonus. The change will be much deeper—a life overhaul, perhaps. It will shift my thinking and adjust my attitude, a small shift that could change everything. Redefining isn’t easy, but if we’re going to keep growing through life’s changes, keep moving forward, redefining is inevitable.