Grief

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As the year began, it was my goal to blog more than last year, and I started out well. But the roller coaster of life took over. Suddenly, like so many friends and acquaintances my age, I experienced the unexpected loss of my father, and I am now navigating the uneven waters of grief.

These waters are thick and heavy, fighting against me as I press forward, day by day, moving ahead with life. I cling to the things I recognize in a life that will now and forever be different.

My journey through these waters is slow and difficult. The current is unpredictable, and the undertow often grabs me and pulls me under when I least expect it, waiting for me to thrash and fight.

Then, just as suddenly, it lets go, and I float to the surface, able to catch my breath—at least for a moment. But by the end of the day, I am exhausted from battling these waves as they come and go only to come again.

Some days, I feel as though I will never write again, and other days, I feel as if I start writing, I will never stop. Writing for me is a necessity—a place to find sense and peace and light.

Grief is where I’ve been hiding, but in time, I am hoping to blog more this year….

13 thoughts on “Grief

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss. My mom was sick this last year and passed away in October. For some writing helps. For others, like me, it is just too painful. I had a good cry this morning as I miss my mom so much. Just to see her, touch her and speak to her again.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, Susan. I know in time, the pain will ease, but as your experience shows, the “undertow” will continue to pull me in every now and again. Hugs to you as you continue your journey through grief. ❤

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  2. My condolences to you for this great loss. I know how this feels ‘cos I lost my Dad some years ago and his demise was too painful to bear. With time the pain will ease off but the memories never fade away. Writing could help as you pour out your emotions down. Sending you strength and positive thoughts. Stay strong! 🙂

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  3. You articulated grief in a way I whole heartedly resonate with, even though I recognize we all deal with grief differently. Writing is a wonderful outlet for these thoughts and really does help make some kind of sense of emotions. You are gifted in that realm (writing), and I hope you do continue blogging more! Praying for you as you continue to navigate this season.

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      1. Of course ❤ I just started really writing as a coping mechanism and as a form of reflection this past year- I should have started sooner. It's amazing what it can do!

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  4. When my mom got sick in the summer I pretty much stopped writing. Everything was so raw and emotional. She passed away on October. It hasn’t been until now that I have started again. Even now my writing is much more….frivolous? I just can’t go deep for fear of what might be there.

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